Tonight was the General Relief Society broadcast for church. Relief Society is the women’s organization for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It’s a world-wide organization, with the motto, “Charity never faileth.” Every woman who is a member of the LDS church, on turning 18 or graduating from high school (whichever comes later) becomes a member of this great organization.

Every year, there’s a General Relief Society broadcast, where women gather all around the world to listen to messages especially for them from the leaders of the world-wide Relief Society and from the prophet. Sadly, though I’ve been a part of Relief Society for almost 12 years, I haven’t attended many of these broadcasts. I’ll read the messages later in the church’s magazines, but I don’t remember attending many of the broadcasts themselves.

Tonight, I was nervous about attending. There was a dinner after the broadcast, and I immediately reverted to that high school/teenager self. “What if nobody I know is there? Who will I sit with?” But more than that, I’ve been fairly whiney and down about things lately. It got to the point this week that I was in tears during a morning prayer, saying things like, “Help us remember that Thou knowest we are here.” Rich told me guilt-tripping God might not be the best approach, but I wasn’t trying to do that as much as plead for help from heaven to keep at least a glimmer of hope in my heart. (This, after posting my Lemons to Lemonade post, I know – it’s not easy remembering the lemonade.) I had a feeling I needed to attend, though I felt like the child who knows she’s in trouble but doesn’t want to hear it and gets defensive, justifying her behavior, even though she knows she’s in the wrong.

The first hymn we sang nearly had me crying: Count Your Blessings. First verse:

When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings; name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

By the third verse, I had to stop singing to avoid the tears:

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you his wealth untold.
Count your many blessings; money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven nor your home on high.

And we’d just barely sung the opening hymn!

The messages were so beautiful. First, that there is strength in the Relief Society, and that the Lord loves us and has a purpose for us, and history teaches us who we are. Second, we have a specific role to play in this life, and we need to stay faithful, say your prayers, study the scriptures, and serve others. Third, to see visiting teaching as a way to bless others’ lives, not just something we have to do once a month, to love as Christ loves. And then, the prophet’s message – do not judge others, but love, instead. While not all necessarily directly related to the employment situation, I felt like I’ve been slacking or failing in each of the areas discussed tonight. I really could be doing much better, being more grateful, more kind, more gentle, more loving, less crabby and grumpy, less judgmental of those I’ve had interviews with who sounded so eager to help me find something and who I haven’t heard back from.

In the end, I felt humbled, and so grateful I went to the broadcast. As I knew in my heart, I definitely needed to be there.